My Child Won't Listen to Me! (What Can I Do?)

Are you in this boat? Your child just doesn't listen to you!

Or you think that if you had to try coach them, they won't listen.

Well, either way I have some great suggestions below to help you with this.

I know from experience that one of the toughest things to do can be to coach your own children!

Especially when they become teenagers.

But the truth is...

Coaching your own child is difficult mainly because of the different hats that you have to wear.

You are the provider, carer, protector, guide, helper, bedroom tidier 🙂, picker up of things left lying around, chef, comforter, source of love and understanding, and so the list goes on.

Now suddenly you are coaching them.

"Hang on they say. What's this? WHY is dad or mom now still correcting me?" And there comes the speed bump...

Take a Step Back...

Firstly, we must take a step back and understand that it is normal for kids to develop independence as they mature.

It is also normal for kids to take more instruction from someone new or different rather than you, as they grow older.

These "outside experts" (be it an uncle or friend or actual expert) come in and say the exact same thing you have been saying for ages… and then the kid does it! Exactly what you've been telling them. 🤯 Brain Blown!

It is frustrating we know, but the result is what counts at the end of the day, right? So, if that is what gets them to listen sometimes, then use it.

The challenge for us though, is how do we get around it when we are coaching our own kids, without having to bring someone in or send them to private coaching?

What Are The Solutions?

 Firstly - That's where we come in for all you Home Coaches:

A simple line when your child is not listening to your coaching, when you are running through one of our lessons with them would be...

“Coach Murray says you should do this."

Or...

"Why don't we watch the video again and make sure this is what Coach Murray wants you to do.”

This platform not only gives you the information you need to coach (or for your child to coach themselves) ...

But it brings that "out of town" expert into your garden, net or living room.

That you can refer your child (who doesn't want to listen) to go to, to hear what you have been saying and the "out of town" expert, Coach Murray, will get the message across and convince your child!

Boom!

It's the simplest and fastest solution if you are facing this problem...

​You can get all the details about the Club here!​

Then...

There are many reasons children don't listen, and we cannot go into a full parenting or coaching course here, but some of the main reasons start with us as coaches.

So, there are things you need to think about and work on as you coach and help your child.

Here's what you might be doing:

That causes your child not to listen, and what you can do to solve it...

---

1. How You Share Information with Your Children or Players

 If you find yourself talking a lot more than your child, or for minutes on end, then there is a problem.

Because, to use a quote from the world of sales to explain this:

“IF YOU ARE TELLING, YOU ARE NOT SELLING!”

What this means is that you have not engaged your child's brain by asking questions, therefore stimulating their brain and learning ability and all they start hearing after 30 seconds is "blah blah blah…"

And then, you will not be able to sell your idea of what they should try do, to them.

No sale = slow learning and development!

My brother Garry has a very simple, yet extremely effective technique, to use questions to stimulate learning, which we will cover in a lesson all on its own in the Home Coach Cricket Club because of its long-term effectiveness.

So...

Start by asking more questions, and talking less!

---

2. How You Manage Their Failures (and Successes)

 If you have not managed this well, and we ALL have made this mistake, it causes a blockage to learning.

For example, if your child sees you getting irate and you berate them (shout or get angry) when they make mistakes, they are not going to respond to your instruction well.

Also, remember that they read body language very well from a young age!

If they do respond to this, it is out of fear, and as soon as they are out of your care, they will ignore any instruction you give because they are now independent of you.

Not the best outcome for anyone!

So, learn to manage and regulate how you respond to them in a more positive manner, and in time they will respond better to you.

---

3. Understanding How Your Child Learns Best

 You will likely find as you raise your kids and coach them (if you have more than one) that each one is different and responds to different styles, or ways of delivering information.

So, if you simply use the same form of communication to talk to each child the same way, some will respond and some will not!

You must work on figuring out how your child or children learn best and then use those methods for each different child.

This will be a lesson (Learning Styles) on its own in the Club in due time so watch this space!

• Some will prefer learning through verbal explanation.
• Some will learn better through being shown.
• Some will learn better through discovery and experience.
• Some will be able to concentrate for longer.
• Some will need more regular breaks or "fun" time outs.

It's your job to figure this out and work with your child's natural strength.

-

In Summary:

The best advice to take, is to first look at yourself and how you are dealing with this challenge and if any of your actions, words or non-verbal communication has anything to do with it.

Start there and then try out some of the suggestions made above, as well as taking a look at our other lessons under "coaching essentials" inside the Home Coach Cricket Club...

Because they all have a part to play in getting closer to your children (or players) and helping them discover for themselves, how best to learn and develop!

​You can get all the details and join the Home Coach Cricket Club here!​

Regards,
Murray :-)